Man, Columbo put a lot of folks in the gas chamber. Despite the fact that...

... they asked for a lawyer FOUR TIMES...

...were Spock...

...were Kirk...

...were HANLON!!!

...he consistently did the right thing. And was so polite about it.

COLUMBO YOU MOTHERFUCKER

just peachy

I put together a piece of ikea furniture and I feel like Norm Abram

Vertigo was a 1958 After School Special about the Dangers of Laziness. It was originally titled "It's a Wonderful Ledge", but that was deemed too on-the-nose.

This is some heavy foreshadowing....COCK-EYED TITS ON THE HORIZON

This is definitely Midge's movie. She had JohnnieO pegged as a lazy-ass dope from the jump (that may be in bad taste but I'll allow it). I don't know what the prescription on those glasses is, but she sees through him like a household glass hole (you know, for light). (WINDOW that's the word. Household glass WINDOW).

Drafting table....glasses....wry sarcI'M NOT HOT IN HERE YOU'RE HOT IN HERE

This movie also has meaning for our Very Important Modern Times. Old-timey James Comey made sure we all knew how bad Johnnie was at...any job, really. He couldn't keep up with a flat foot cop with a massive gunbelt or a blonde in 3 inch heels running up stairs. He also had the curiousity and intellectual rigor of a bag of wet turnips.

In summation, FUCK YOU GEORGE BAILEY

And evidently doctors would talk to anyone about anything. Here is Dr Frank HIPAA (no relation) realizing that Midge knows more about the human condition than his blue shirt ever will.

At least everything worked out in the end.

You're cured!

And Midge? She went on to found the Blue Moon Detective Agency and solve a few crimes and NEVER HAVE TO DEAL WITH OVERWROUGHT MAN-BABIES EVER AGAIN!