I'm a web developer/sysadmin/host (NERD TRIPLE THREAT!) and this is my attempt to write about...leaving the house. Sometimes. Like, to go backpacking. And take some pictures. And justify spending the money on all the gear WHY SO MUCH?!?
Feel free to write and complain.
Smokey and the Bandit was a 1977 feature film that was Not Star Wars. It was a sober (!) meditation on many of American society's ills at her bicentennial. Some of the topics covered were
1) Alcohol abuse
3) Police fitness for duty
4) American cars and cornering
9) Class warfare
10) The peak of American masculinity and attractiveness
Ocean's 11 was a movie made in 1960 about the GI Bill. For some reason it starred a bunch of singers and entertainers and......Peter Lawford?
Frank SInatra plays the partial title character of Danny 11, a washed up sweater model who is longing for the action of opening and closing doors in a building.
Dean Martin plays Dean Martin's mother and you just know he's hitting that HARD
The plot revolves around the wacky hijinks these wonderful scamps get up to on their way to a funeral
All told, this movie was quite the flight of fancy because there is actually no possible way a casino could ever lose money.
I give this film 6 pinky rings.
Recently I watched an educational filmstrip about insurance adjusting called "The Thomas Crown Affair". It plays as a metaphor for how hard it was in the olden days to get by on just four (4!) millions.
The heroes of this teleplay really are the hard working men who came together against a few odds (fucking Erwin) and got the job done. IT'S CALLED TEAMWORK PEOPLE.
The film also sounds a cautionary note about climate change and not paying for an architect.
Why she didn't end up cutting a bitch I will never know. DON'T PUT YOUR LABELS ON ME, EDDIE.
I give this presentation 5 tank engines.
The Night of the Hunter was a Back-When-America-Was-Great-Again documentary about owls. It stars The Cologne Guy and the mother from Silence of the Hams.
I know, how do you have starring roles in a documentary that is ridiculous because HOLLLYWOOD THAT'S WHY STAR SYSTEM!
A sub plot is about the trials and tribulations of
an itinerant preacher who is just as qualified as Franklin Graham to pontificate on what the bearded sky man wants or doesn't want for anyone.
There was also something about ice cream? A shop of some kind? Also: labor laws and why we need unions.
Not pictured: any discussion of comprehensive sex education.
I give this movie 3.14 Them Apples
Vertigo was a 1958 After School Special about the Dangers of Laziness. It was originally titled "It's a Wonderful Ledge", but that was deemed too on-the-nose.
This is definitely Midge's movie. She had JohnnieO pegged as a lazy-ass dope from the jump (that may be in bad taste but I'll allow it). I don't know what the prescription on those glasses is, but she sees through him like a household glass hole (you know, for light). (WINDOW that's the word. Household glass WINDOW).
This movie also has meaning for our Very Important Modern Times. Old-timey James Comey made sure we all knew how bad Johnnie was at...any job, really. He couldn't keep up with a flat foot cop with a massive gunbelt or a blonde in 3 inch heels running up stairs. He also had the curiousity and intellectual rigor of a bag of wet turnips.
And evidently doctors would talk to anyone about anything. Here is Dr Frank HIPAA (no relation) realizing that Midge knows more about the human condition than his blue shirt ever will.
At least everything worked out in the end.
And Midge? She went on to found the Blue Moon Detective Agency and solve a few crimes and NEVER HAVE TO DEAL WITH OVERWROUGHT MAN-BABIES EVER AGAIN!