I'm a web developer/sysadmin/host (NERD TRIPLE THREAT!) and this is my attempt to write about...leaving the house. Sometimes. Like, to go backpacking. And take some pictures. And justify spending the money on all the gear WHY SO MUCH?!?

So check back weekly for all the smrt missives! And the dumb tweets!

Also hiking things!

Feel free to write and complain.

20 September 2017

He chose to keep my sister in a laundry hamper THAT'S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE THAT'S WHAT IT IS

Choice has always been important to my dad.

He chose a Jaguar to drive because it's easy for a 91 year old to manage.

He chose to live in Sarasota because it's warm and beautiful and calm.

He chose to leave his home because we asked him to. HURRICANE == BAD.

He chose to turn around because he was tired and hangry.

He chose to go home and ride out the storm.

He chose to say "I love you" at the end of every call. He still does.

This is part two of my nit-picky Review of North by Northwest. This part seems to consist of seeing how clean his white shirt can be.

Like Uber, but for people.

This movie didn't invent Overly Complicated Death Plots, but it seems to have set the gold standard.

Way to stick the landing, Nadya.

They never pick the right one on House Hunters.

Condor is a cool code name, right?

This is what's known as a metaphor.

This all happened because he kept swiping cabs.

Now for another Nit-picky Review of North by Northwest (the first hour I've watched so far THE WIFE DOESN'T LIKE MY MOVIES).

Gonna have to wait a while to tap anything at this table.

What trips me up so far is why go straight to offing the guy when asking politely doesn't work? Are you trying to say Martin Landau can't do torture? HAVE YOU SEEN B*A*P*S?!?!

I do have to admit though it was nice to see a Woman of a Certain Age having a prominent-ish role at the CIA's Good Luck Chuck table.

Who the hell is Jason Bourne?

In the next post I'll talk about the rest of the movie (or whatever I can get through before dinner time).

This is known as "foreshadowing"

a nice run
9 November 2016

Well, shit.

2 November 2016

Nit-picky Review of Frost/Nixon!

This is a Republican cloth tuxedo!

Diane Sawyer was absolutely no help at all.

Caitlyn is a nice name...

17 August 2016

Another Incredibly Nit-picky review -- this time it's Män som hatar kvinnor (figure it out)!

Män som hatar kvinnor

That is EXACTLY what that's for

This was a delightful coming of age story about a girl and her guardia-WHAT THE FUCK?!? NOW IT'S CADDYSHACK?

Playing through....

The Swedish version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (see? I knew you'd get it) was much better than the James Bond version. I imagine I could have watched with subtitles off and would have still been able to follow the story (so much reading). But one thing bothered me -- why didn't Henrik recognize his nephew in the enlarged photo from the parade? HE WAS TOTALLY WEARING THE SWEATER HE GAVE HIM LIKE FOR CHRISTMAS OR KRAMPUS OR WHATEVER. 


I give this flick 5 Ikea meatballs.

double indumbnity
6 July 2016

What the hell is gluten?

In this Incredibly Nit-picky review, it's the pipe smoking uber-dad and that lady who wore leather breeches and owned California in Double Indemnity!

So Super Smart Insurance Fella figures that by dragging and dropping a guy on to the tracks means MASTER PLAN COMPLETE NO PROBLEM-O? Really? Even though it's CSI:1938, couldn't he at least have rumpled the man's suit? Put grease on his face? WHAT ABOUT THE BOUNCE MARKS AND MURDER SMELL?

You thought drunk tweeting was bad....

I guess I shouldn't be too hard on the guy. With the benefit of hindsight, it was easy to see that the insurance company would just decide to dick over the little guy by basically saying "we're not paying, go ahead and sue" (who knew they were really just saving us from ne'r-do-wells?).

Then again, Fred did point the Short-tempered Rage-a-holic (known in the movie as the Italian kid) at the only innocent person with the stirring motivational speech "go get her boy, she wants you now!"

THANKS A LOT, ASSHOLE. She will surely enjoy her life of heavy drinking and random beatings. It's a LOVE STORY.

It's like he never saw a film noir before.

I give this picture 4 High-waisted Trousers.

my asshole cat
18 May 2016

I miss her so much.

Gotta go hide and scare the pitbull.

She really was a jerk sometimes. Her favorite was the paw swipe from behind the hallway curtains STOP CAMPING YOU NOOB. But she put up with me picking her up so she could look out the back window. She really had no idea why i did this, but she went along with it and purred away. In cat-speak this was probably meant as "I will kill you LAST".

We picked her up from the pound after my first cat died. Picked her out right off the bat without thinking how she'd fit in with the other pets in the house. MY BAD, but I wouldn't have changed it. She was a jerk but she wasn't mean. She put up with being belled, after all (no sneaky-peteing the other cats). And having to wear the name tag belonging to the cat she wanted to tangle with the most (man, I think I was the jerk here).